The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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