allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
