I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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