Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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