so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
