Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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