I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's official drugs can't kill me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
