I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize