My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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