the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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