Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
