There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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