R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
