At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
