I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
