Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we have officially lost it.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this boner is exhausting
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize