So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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