you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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