Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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