"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
