he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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