I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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