I didn't shave. On purpose
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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