Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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