im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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