it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
