I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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