Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
