We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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