I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Watching her eat just hurts me
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize