My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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