So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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