Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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