I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
