I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Welp...herpes.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
