I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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