New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
