Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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