you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
