I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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