You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
