Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
