On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
