her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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