There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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