What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So squirting runs in the family.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
