I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
nutella sex= disaster
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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