I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize