It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
