u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
