Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
