he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
