you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
