my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
