Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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