Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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