Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
