we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
