i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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