I look better un-naked...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you would pick up someone in the library
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
